All in Mom-spiration

The NICU Shadow

Nine months later, washing my hair, putting laundry in the dryer, drinking my coffee, I still find myself revisiting Noah’s NICU experience. Noah spent 59 days and nights in the NICU and they were hard. Mostly for him, but for us, too. The NICU shadow doesn’t let me forget.

Where Did My Baby Go?

I think that’s what we all want for our children. We want them to be self-sufficient and believe in themselves as they go out into the world. But, then there’s that little selfish part that actually wants them to stay little forever because you enjoy being needed all the time,

Mom, You're not Alone

Although I don’t rejoice in my friend’s pain, there was comfort in knowing that I’m not alone. As mothers of young children in this stage of life, we are pulled in so many different directions. Our children need us, our aging parents need us, were trying to keep our marriages and friendships intact.

How to End Your Year on a High Note!

We’re so busy in our daily lives as mothers that sometimes we don’t recognize  all the wonderful accomplishments and milestones we have made in a year. They get tucked away in our minds behind the loads of laundry, schedules, doctor visits, birthday parties and never ending cleaning up. 

Valuing My Birth Story

“Today, we will be sharing our birth stories,” announced one of the facilitators with a smile. I almost choked. My chest tightened, as a dull sense of fear overwhelmed me. It’s hard to clarify exactly why, but in that very moment, the thought of sharing our birth story spelled dread.

Unwrapping the gift of gratitude on Thanksgiving and everyday

This year has been a tough one for so many of us. We have faced monstrous natural disasters and so much turmoil and conflict in our world. But today I’m thankful for a little girl next to me on my bed, her tiny hand gripping my shirt gently, just to make sure I’m still here. I’m grateful for a little boy peacefully sleeping in his own bed, happy and strong in spite of all he has struggled through.

Pumping for Survival

I attached the apparatus to myself and began the desperate task of pumping. In this case I wasn’t only pumping to feed my baby, it felt like I was pumping to save his life. At that point he was only getting nutrition through various IVs. They were waiting for my breast milk to start feeding him. I pumped and I pumped and I pumped…

The Celebration of a Life and the Heroes that Saved it

This was the moment that I learned just how much love could hurt. I never felt such emotions in all my life. I was filled with extreme joy that my son was finally here and came out crying… a sign that he was alive after an emergency C-Section at just 30 weeks. At the same time, I was struck with an intense urge to protect and nurture him, something I wasn’t able to do like every other mother.

When One Becomes Two

Salty tears dripped off my face and onto my newborn as she nursed in my arms. I had prepared as much as I could to be a mother of 2. I thought I had it mostly figured out. I knew it was going to be difficult, especially in the beginning.

Getting to the Green Side...

I put down my pen over a year ago and couldn’t pick it up again until recently. Writing would mean thinking about and processing my emotions and for a while it was just too tough. It has been a difficult year and I have found my resilience is not what it used to be. But somehow here I am, getting to the green side of the grass, healing and making it through the throes of motherhood.

Today I Fell Apart...

Today I fell apart. After several months of “holding it together” I was reduced to a weeping, mess of tears as I held my sweet, sleeping 19 month old son in my arms. As he rested comfortably against my chest, a deep sadness came over me. Next week begins another period of trial for our family. It seems like we are about to relive some of the worst nightmares of our past.