“You’re so lucky! You have round the clock babysitters for your baby!” This is one of those “jokes” you should probably keep to yourself. NICU moms would hardly ever think of their situation as lucky and would give anything to be at home with their baby.
I had no idea I had preeclampsia. My pregnancy had already been so difficult that I missed some symptoms and totally ignored the others. It was fate and God that saved my son and I from the dangers of this life threatening condition.
This was it. They unplugged my baby from all of the wires he had been connected to for months and put him in my arms. A part of me wanted to just clutch him tightly and run right out of there. I wished that I could just take him home, but we weren’t there yet. He needed open heart surgery.
Our NICU stay felt like a never-ending, roller coaster ride. It was the kind of ride that takes you high up into the sky one minute but then drops you hundreds of feet from a sharp angle the next.
I always thought I would breastfeed my baby, that’s what good moms do! The thought never crossed my mind that I would have to pump to get breast milk for him, far less give him formula.
By law of nature, my husband is away on a business trip and my son has come down with the flu. These things always happen at the most inconvenient times. Now I have no one to wake up in the middle of the night with my neurotic behavior.
The other day I experienced the phenomenon known as a “blow out” for the first time. While it sounds like something you might ask for at a hair salon, I assure you this was much less pleasant.
It is a heart wrenching thing to leave the hospital without your baby. After a 9 day stay in the hospital, it was time to go home. But my baby was staying behind. At just 2.5lbs and attached to a multitude of wires and cables, he would remain in the NICU for a long time to come.
Not many parents take their kid to the doctor as much as I do. In addition to the regular pediatrician well visits, we see a cardiologist, gastroenterologist and pulmonologist almost every month. That means an appointment almost every week.
Yesterday I finally caved and bought myself a new pair of jeans. Over a year after giving birth to my son I decided that I was done waiting to finally fit into my pre-pregnancy jeans again.
I had a pregnancy that one could only describe as a nightmare. When I think back on it now,i’m not sure how I got through it. It must have been God, as only a higher power could help someone through such trauma. I must admit, i’m terrified of ever getting pregnant again even though I love my little nugget more than anything in the world.
