Out Came the "Sun"
I first met Farrah in college. I was a Resident Assistant and she worked at the front desk in my building. Her presence was always a breath of fresh air. She had a warm smile and a warm soul. I followed Farrah on Facebook as she embarked on a journey to teach abroad in South Korea. Her posts about her daily interactions with her students were so very inspiring. Her demonstrations of love, acceptance and understanding across cultures led me to think that she would be a great mom one day. It was also in South Korea that her blooming small business Pure Escentials, was conceptualized and born. She attended a soap-making class and knew that she had found a passion. She started making her own soaps and started selling them at markets and events. They became a big hit! Pure Escentials makes luxurious soaps, body scrubs and body butters, using natural essential oils, herbs and only the best quality ingredients.
Shortly after her return to the U.S. Farrah gave birth to her son amidst difficult circumstances. A dark and abusive relationship threatened to break her brilliant spirit. However, she has overcome, and out of it all came her greatest joy, her “sun” as she often refers to him in her posts. Just as I always thought, she is an Amazing Mom. She is deep in the trenches of motherhood with the rest of us and doing all she can to make a good life for her and her little one.
Ispeakmom.com is happy to feature Amazing Mom, Farrah Joseph!
On how motherhood has changed her life:
Motherhood comes with an imaginary cape. I've been stretched in so many ways and in so many areas of my life, that I thought had no more room left for growth or change. Coming from such a broken relationship, I didn't understand the concept of love, why we do it and if I could ever do it again. This tiny human has shown me that it's definitely possible and it's simple. Operate from your heart, speak your truth, and grow from there. I've also become more resilient and tenacious. I'm protecting very precious cargo here! I'm more conscious when it comes to making decisions, and I've been practicing more "adulting" too. (No, you cannot buy that gorgeous dress because you have to buy diapers and wipes. You don't have anywhere to wear it to anyway.)
On what she loves most about being a mom:
The giggles! Oh, my goodness, the giggles are the best! I get to be myself around this kid without any judgement. He thinks I'm cool, and he reminds me to laugh. When they say children are a blessing and gift, I get it now. I enjoy every day with him.
On the challenges of motherhood:
Balance (insert maniacal laughter here). So, for some crazy reason, I thought that I would be able to balance my life, my business, and my baby. Well, as many of us first time mothers do, I soon discovered, I was wrong (Don't tell my mother I admitted that). I’m a person who always plans and coordinates everything, it’s my personality. I analyze the possible outcomes of my plan and then write a journal entry about it. Then, something like the baby throwing up or taking a shorter nap occurs, and the whole plan is out the window. I'm learning that balance happens within the moments and not so much the entire day. I'm often faced with dilemmas like "do I fold this laundry and put it away or do I take a nap?" Usually, I go for the latter and pick out the clothes I need in the morning!
On how she manages the stress of being a mom:
Laughter. Deep belly laughter is so soothing. It fills the soul and reminds me that I’m doing fine. I usually laugh at myself (I’m pretty funny) or find a television program to laugh at (my all-time favorite show is the 90’s sitcom “Living Single”.)
I remind myself to breathe and be present. Most accidents and spills happen when my mind is running a mile a minute, instead of focusing on what's in front of me. My son notices it too, he's more agreeable when I'm present.
Working out, practicing yoga, or talking it out. Any kind of physical, spiritual or mental exercise, helps to release the tension and pressure of motherhood. (The pressure mostly comes from outside sources and their opinions, which I take with caution.)
Create, create, create! Art imitates life and life imitates art. I've made some very creative soaps and body scrubs, after a tough parenting day. I let my current challenges encourage me to work harder at growing my business. That way, I can do more for and with my son.
Advice for new moms:
Don't worry, really. If you've given your all, and done your best, you have done enough. Congratulate yourself and remember that both you and your child are growing together. No one really knows the "perfect" process. If the baby's belly is full, and he is smiling, you should smile too.
Respect your gut, your intuition is everything!
Sing to your child, bond with your child and let your child know that you are here for him.
Speak life, love and strength over your child. Daily, I stand in the mirror with my son and we say affirmations starting with the words "I am”. Funny enough, you're speaking life over yourself as well.
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© Nicola Rios Nogales and ispeakmom.com, 2017. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Nicola Rios Nogales and ispeakmom.com with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.