A Letter to New Dads from New Moms
Dear New Dad,
I love you. I love the way our baby’s face lights up when you come home from work. I love the giggles that fill our house when you two play together. But I want you to know that this mom thing is harder than I ever thought and sometimes I need your help with a few things:
Help me to keep the schedule. I know I sometimes act like the schedule police, but there is a good reason! You see the schedule is not just for the baby. The schedule is for me and for “us.” I want us to be able to spend quality time together. When the baby misses a nap or naps much later than usual, he goes to bed later, leaving us less time to just hang out as a couple. It also makes me extra tired and grumpy and not so fun to be around. So please help me to get this kid to bed on time and keep the schedule on track.
When the baby is sleeping, let’s keep it that way! Getting the baby to sleep is hard work! When you come home after bed time, try not to make too much noise so we don’t wake him up. I know you missed him and want to give him a little kiss, but maybe just take a look and appreciate his sweet, peaceful little self instead. If he wakes up after I worked so hard to get him down, I can’t guarantee that I won’t turn into a fire breathing dragon.
Encourage me to take a day off. I am thrilled that I get to stay home with our amazing little bundle. But i’m also a little jealous of your “normal” life. After the baby came home, you went back to work. You went back to your regular routine of lunches and meetings and chats with co-workers. My life on the other hand has changed completely. I now change at least 5 poopy diapers a day, battle with mealtimes, spend a whole lot of time cleaning up, and then cleaning up again. I run behind our baby as he crawls from one dangerous corner of the house to the next, doing everything I can to keep him safe and sound. My job never ends and sometimes I really need a break. Reassure me that everything will be okay if I run off for a few hours and nudge me to do it!
Remember that i’m counting on you. When you run in to that old friend after work who invites you to go for a drink spontaneously, remember me. Remember that I have hardly had a chance to take a shower today and I probably haven’t had 15 minutes to myself. Remember that I am waiting for you to get home so that I can take a few minutes break while you help me give the night time bath and get through the bed time routine. I know you need a break once in a while too, so maybe schedule some time to meet up with your old friend in the coming days. That way i’ll know in advance and can prepare myself for it.
Remind me that i’m beautiful. Today I have been puked on and pooped on. I barely had a chance to shower, far less shave my legs. I’m still packing some of that baby weight and I ate a bag of Twix during an anxiety attack. I haven’t slept properly in months and i’m exhausted… so i’m just not feeling all that beautiful today! Remind me that underneath all of this, i’m still the beautiful, sexy woman you fell in love with. Who knows, you might just get lucky (no promises)!
You see New Dad, I know that sometimes you might think i’m over the top and obsessive about all this mom stuff. But it’s not without reason. I love our baby and our family more than anything and I want it all to be as perfect as a crazy life could be. So just bear with me! I love you more than ever. I know together, we can get through this parenting adventure and be stronger than ever.
© Nicola Rios Nogales and ispeakmom.com, 2014. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Nicola Rios Nogales and ispeakmom.com with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.