How Multitasking is Ruining Motherhood
It’s Monday afternoon at 3:30 PM and I’m already exhausted from the week. The semi-nutritious dinner that I’m cooking is on the brink of burning, my almost 4-year-old needs help with the potty, and my 2-year-old is expertly pulling out all of the toys that I just packed away when she was napping. Simultaneously, family is trying to face-time us, I’m paying bills, working on my blog and thinking about what costume or special ingredient is needed for pre-school tomorrow. Not to mention I’m still working on the mountain of laundry from the “summer adventure” we just returned from! I find myself wondering, “how is everyone else doing it?”
I’m guessing that many other moms are struggling just like I am. I've seen enough articles and info-graphics about the "mental load of motherhood" recently, to know that I am not alone. The regularly suggested solutions just don’t seem to cut it or aren’t a reality for many of us. We all know that “it takes a village”. But what about those of us who don’t have their “village” readily available every day? It’s now typical that young families live far away from extended family, friends are unavailable, and paid help is limited by finances or availability.
Trying to fit the bill of the super mom and multitasking machine, has left me exhausted, irritable, and impatient with my kids. By the end of the day I find myself regrettably barking at them, as I have reached the end of my rope physically and mentally. After finally putting them to bed, I sink into the corner of the couch and wallow in the failures of the day. I try to do so many things at the same time, that I can’t complete anything to the standard I would like to. Meals are just edible, the house is still a mess, I never got to those activities I wanted to do with the kids and blog posts remain un-edited. I’m learning that trying to do it all, especially at the same time is not good for me or my family.
As I thought more about how multi-tasking is ruining my motherhood experience, I remembered wise words from amazing triplet mom, Nia Hooper-Mason. In her interview for ispeakmom.com she said:
“While I AM SUPER and I AM a WOMAN, I AM no superhero and chose not to sign up for that. Last time I checked, superheroes are primarily animated, fictitious characters, who don’t have careers, grocery shopping duty, play dates, things to do lists that run longer than a marathon, etc.”
Nia was so right! We try to live up to these unrealistic standards, often imposed by ourselves because we care too much about what others think of us! We have our hands in so many different things at the same time, we’re not present in any of them! So how do we fix it and find more time to present with our kids and enjoy our lifestyle? It’s not an easy fix, because there’s just so much to do alllllll the time. But here are a few things I’m going to try:
· Prioritize: At the end of the day there are a few things that are super important to me. I’m going to make a list of those priorities and post them in a few visible places in my home so I don’t get too sidetracked. Also, when things seem to be getting hay-wire, it will remind me of what’s most important and help me to re-focus.
· De-clutter: This is going to be one of my major projects over the next few months. Too many unnecessary things clutter up our home and make it very hard to clean up and keep tidy! I’ll be doing a major purge of all those items we have no more use for!
· Decide when to call it quits: Sometimes it’s okay to make cereal and yogurt for dinner so I can spend more time with the kids or complete an important task. The house might be a mess, but no one will die if we leave it for tomorrow. Sometimes the energy is better spent reading a story, building a fort or coloring with the kids. Sometimes it’s better to ignore the non-emergency tasks and sit and do something to restore myself, so I have energy and patience for tomorrow.
· Mommy Wellness Self Check: I’m going to revisit my mommy wellness self-check to figure out what I need to do to keep myself well and adjust my game plan beyond just diet and exercise. I have learned the hard way that my own wellness needs to be a main priority. Without it, I can’t be the mom, wife, and entrepreneur that I want to be. Download your free mommy wellness self-check so you can discover what you need to improve and make your game plan too!
I’m crossing fingers that these steps will help me get it together moms! Let me know if these work for you and any suggestions you have for keeping sanity with everything we need to get done!
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© Nicola Rios Nogales and ispeakmom.com, 2017. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Nicola Rios Nogales and ispeakmom.com with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.