Misfortunes of a Sleep Deprived Mama
I looked on in horror. My face turned purple, red, blue and then grey! There it was, on the floor of the nail salon! This was by far THE most embarrassing moment of my life. I could not get out of there fast enough. But how would I escape without anyone knowing it was me?! I had heard of these “Mommy” embarrassing moments before… a forgotten boob just hanging out after nursing or unidentified wet spots on clothes. But this was just epic!
One good “ole” sleep deprived day, I was in an enormous rush. It had been a particularly hectic week as my daughter’s baptism was approaching. I had spent the whole week running around with the 2 kids in tow and they were both still waking several times a night. I was beyond exhausted! It was Saturday and I needed to get my nails done for the Baptism the next day. As soon as both kids went down for their afternoon naps, I hustled to get out of the house. I pulled a pair of jeans straight out from the dryer and quickly pulled it on. I didn’t even bother to stop and look myself over in the mirror as I knew my time was limited.
On my brisk walk over to the salon I did feel something slightly weird in the leg of my pants, but I didn’t know what it was and I didn’t have time to stop and check either. I got to the salon, checked in and chose a baby pink nail polish, very fitting for the occasion. I breathed a sigh of relief and was happy to have a few kid-free moments to relax after a busy week. I chit-chatted with the manicurist about my kids of course, because that’s what moms do when they finally have a few minutes away from their children! But, I was thoroughly enjoying having my nails done by someone else and getting “glammed” up a bit. After creaming my hands, the manicurist sent me to the sink to wash them off. I did so without a thought and returned to her station to complete my manicure and pedicure.
About 5 minutes later, scandalous screams and loud laughter came from the area of the sink. Everyone immediately looked and some ladies got up to get a closer look at what was going on. I was enjoying myself far too much to really care about what was going on. I only casually glanced up to see a crowd around the sink. More laughter, shrieks and giggly whispers ensued over the next few minutes. As the crowd parted, I stretched my head to have a look at what was happening. When my eyes caught sight of the object causing the commotion, time.stood.still. My head was spinning and my eyes were popping out, as my brain searched for an answer. How on earth did that happen?!! How did my zebra print (with a touch of hot pink) granny panty end up on the floor of the nail salon?!!
The whispers and giggles continued as the manager was called to investigate. Women laughed with each other trying to figure out how this mysterious underwear suddenly appeared by the sink. Some of the manicurists joked with each other as they made accusatory guesses as to who it belonged to. Although I was silent, my face was turning more colors than a bag of Skittles. I tried to keep calm and cool. I hugged my purse and tried to make my body small, wishing I could just clap my hands and disappear. Everyone looked around at each other with smirking and suspicious faces, but I avoided eye contact. I tried to figure out in my head how this atrocity had taken place. I internally retraced my steps and my mind raced to the moment I quickly pulled on those jeans, then to that strange feeling on my walk over and finally to the moment I washed my hands at the sink. I knew how this had happened. Somehow a pair of underwear from a previous drying cycle remained in the dryer when I put the jeans in that morning. As the dryer spun, the random granny panty got stuck in the pair of jeans that I later pulled on. As I stood by the sink and adjusted my “just a tad too big” maternity pants, the underwear fell out and I was none the wiser.
Embarrassed like hell is an understatement. I felt frozen, there was nothing I could do to escape this nightmare. One thing I knew for sure… I could not admit to being the owner of the underwear, it would be far too shameful! I remained mostly quiet throughout the remainder of my service, and even giggled with the manicurist as she laughingly recounted the story of the underwear at the sink. I tried to look neutral as the manager removed MY underwear with pair of gloves on. The moments ticked by like snails wriggling down a broken branch. Once I was done, I paid and exited calmly to avoid raising suspicion. But as I was out the door, I bolted down the street like an Olympic sprinter (more like an ultra-fast power walk). I knew I could never return to this salon, EVER… and I haven’t.
I was still in disbelief that such a thing could happen to me. It was straight out of a movie, except it was horror for me and comedy for everyone else. What can I say? I blame it on sleep deprivation or “new mommy brain.” Hey at least it’s a funny story to tell!
© Nicola Rios Nogales and ispeakmom.com, 2016. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Nicola Rios Nogales and ispeakmom.com with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.